In our society, the “western world”, where the individual is important and there is a belief system that supports the existence of Captain America, Superman and Wonder Woman, we are often told that WECAN HAVE WHAT WE WANT. Each one of us is in one way or another a hero in their own story; an example to others; a person with hidden potential that awaits to be unleashed.
You can’t really go wrong with “Follow your dreams” and “Follow your heart”. It is in the DNA of optimism and hope.
The other side of this social beliefs system coin is that of “conscious appreciation”. “Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly” says Tony Robbins and I couldn’t agree more. Realize that what is already yours shouldn’t be taken for granted. Wanting more poses the risk of“not living in the present” and being unsatisfied for no good reason.
Both views are equally valid. They theoretically co-exist almost in harmony. One doesn't seemingly exclude the other...
However, in practice, in actual “simple” daily decision making about what you and I should be doing with our lives they start to contradict to such an extent that we get CONFUSED (capital letters intended).
You see, if I am to change careers, let’s say, what belief should I be stepping on?Should I “follow my dreams” and accept uncertainty or should I “appreciate whatI have” and instead of creating “1st world problems” for myself I can settle and live a good life? Or maybe a more complex yet frequent scenario - if I am not entirely happy with my relationship and consider the option to stay or leave which belief system should I be following now? “Follow your heart” or“appreciate what you have”? In any of these situations most people, I trust, are clever and have weighted the pros and cons as a starter. They are aware of what they’d be giving up in one case or the other. They are also aware of their own fear of uncertainty and are willing to fight it. They have listened and taken into consideration advice from others. They’ve been asked the question“what really matters to you?” and even have an answer of sort… but it doesn’t get any easier.
Why is it still so hard to make a definitive choice?
“There are moments in which the vision of what we want is really clear and there are others in which it gets a bit blurry”
We all have at least an idea of what we want in our lives but at times the vision seems to get diluted. We get tired/ side-tracked/scared of ourselves, others, the dream itself…
1. Start by: answering how do you really feel at the moment?
e.g. I feel lost, demotivated, stressed, lazy, not knowing what I want or what to do, overwhelmed, sad, etc.
2. If you decided to not worry about it and I promised you that you don’t need to do anything about it either – what is it that you really want?
3. What makes it difficult to have/achieve that?
4. What would happen if suddenly all of the obstacles/ difficulties/ challenges disappeared and are no longer a factor at all?
5. What else would happen?
6. How does that feel?
7. What do you really love about having/ achieving what you want?
8. Knowing what you know now, what would be the ideal outcome of your situation?
9. What is the most self-loving way in which you can go about it?
10. When would be the best time to have this already in your life?
11. End with: If there is one thing you really wanted to do in the next 7 days that moves you towards where you want to be – what would you chose? When will you do it?
It is normal to get discouraged or tired and to have our visions blurred. It is normal to sometimes follow the current because it is really hard work to “follow your dreams”, “appreciate what you have” and to consciously keep a watchful eye on your goals and direction at all times.
We get side-tracked by being surrounded by the dreams of others and we get scared by the potential failures and mistakes. However, regardless of all obstacles along the way, these are by no means a verdict to your capability or future.This is just life and with a little help, we live it as best as we DECIDE to.